What is Life?

When asked the question, 'What is life?' everyone seems to respond with 'something that is hard to define'. Although this definition of life is accurate, it does not quite give any idea about what life actually is. 
More often than not, I have found myself pondering about the whole concept of life. As I lay in my bed in the middle of the night, unable to sleep due to my highly active brain activity, I came up with some things that actually define what life is. Here is what life is for me:


Life is a struggle to move forward, passing through the ups and downs.
Life is a blessing.
Life is a road trip.
It is like the sea. It is either calm or storm.
Life is a gift.
Life is a test.
Life is a climb and despite the ups and downs, it holds a view extraordinarily beautiful.

It is temporary and nothing belongs to you.
Life is worth living.
Life is like a car with no reverse gear.
Life is a one-way street.
It is a war. Fight until your last breath.
Life is a journey of unknown destination.
Life is nothing but a dream.
Life is a mixture of gains and losses.
Life is unpredictable.
It is the present moment and that's it.
Life is a roller coaster that only goes up.
Life is pain.
Life is a classroom.
Life is an adventure.

How Giving Charity Can Change the World

Charity begins with those that are closest to you. Your friends, relatives, neighbours that are in need. Maybe you have a friend that is struggling financially or is buried in debts. Or a cousin who lost his job and has trouble standing up on his or her own feet. Or a brother who can barely pay the rent. You can help them out.

What if there is somebody that you want to help, in your family or in your circle of friends, but you had a fight with them? Someone you know but aren't on good terms with? Then what do you do? You don't know whether or not you should help this person or not. You don't know whether they are still holding a grudge against you or not. You don't know if they even deserve your help or not. In that case, help them. Forgiveness is better than charity. Forgive that person for what happened in the past. But remember not to talk down to them or use your money as leverage against them.

When you give charity, then there are no strings attached. That is it. You get nothing more out of it. You don't expect anything in return. If they thank you or do you a favour in return, that's their good nature. You shouldn't expect it and if they don't do that, you should not get offended.

Sometimes people give charity but they condescend as they give. They don't exactly insult the person they give to, but they give in a way that pierces through the receiver's dignity. They make the receiver feel ashamed of him or herself. They make them feel worthless and inferior.That type of giving is not charity. Charity is not a way of showing off your wealth to the helpless. It is not a way of showing off to your peers that you are a good person.

The ultimate rule of giving charity is simple. When your right hand gives charity, your left hand should not know about it. This means that give charity in such a way, that no one except you know about it. Don't tell anyone, don't show off to anyone. No one else but only you should know about it, to ensure that the real purpose of charity is fulfilled.

Through charity, the receiver gets many benefits. Some are obvious, like getting financial help, but there are others that are far more beneficial in the long run. If a person needs money for something important, like food, but has no source of getting any, he might consider stealing and thus end up becoming a thief. To defend himself from being caught, he will start lying as well. But if the needy had received charity, he would not have even thought of stealing, and ultimately, wouldn't have needed to lie. This is how a little help changes the receiver's future.

Charity is not only beneficial for the poor in helping them better their way of living, but is also beneficial for the giver of charity. How? you may ask. Well, let me put it this way. If a person intentionally gives a part of his wealth to someone else, without expecting anything in return, can that person ever become selfish? Absolutely not. This is how charity helps improve the giver's personality. Furthermore, giving charity cleanses the wealth of the giver. It helps in making the person feel more peaceful and positive. 

Giving charity is what the world needs. It is a way through which world poverty can end. There is no shortage of well off people. Giving charity reminds us to not be selfish. It helps us from wanting more and more money. It prevents us from trying to get what we don't deserve. That is why I say charity is what the world needs.

Pieces of Advice from Me, for Me.

Here are some pieces of advice that I have for myself.

1. Be more forgiving.
2. Don't take those people seriously who don't take you seriously.
3. Start saving now.
4. Love yourself.
5. Take care of yourself.
6. Be grateful.
7. Take more risks.
8. Learn from your mistakes. Don't repeat the same mistake twice.
9. Keep your head up.
10. Stay active.
11. Treat yo self.
12. Be patient.
13. Trust nobody.
14. Learn social skills, quit being shy.
15. Do what you feel is right.
16. Everything will heal with time.
17. Find your niche.
18. Stand in minority for what you believe, rather than in majority for what you're against.
19. Avoid procrastination.
20. Be yourself.
21. Stay away from all the negativity.
22. Quit trying to be perfect.
23. Express yourself.
24. Pray a little harder.
25. Don't believe anything anyone says before doing your research.
26. Stay away from the toxic people. Simply disappear from their lives.
27. Do not take things for granted.
28. Question everything.
29. Never be someone's backup plan.
30. Learn to say no.
31. No one loves you more than your parents.
32. Respect yourself. Don't put your self respect down for anyone. I repeat, anyone.
33. Experiment.
34. Truly, deeply accept yourself just the way you are.
35. A few genuine and sincere friends are better than many insincere friends.
36. Quit trying to impress people. 
37. Spread love, hate less.
38. Don't underestimate yourself.
39. Everything happens for a reason. 
40. Try to excel in everything you do.
41. Refine your skills.
42. You are beautiful. 
43. No one is worth your tears except family.
44. Laugh more often.
45. Don't wait for someone else to help you, do it yourself!
46. You deserve better than you think you do, trust me on this one.
47. Forgive but do not forget.
48. Don't let anyone bring you down.
49. Don't forget to relax.
50. People will judge no matter what, so do what you want to do.
51. Be your own savior.
52. Don't settle for less.
53. Stay strong.

Real Men Don't Hit

Today when I got home, my sister was watching the news with full attention. It came as a surprise to me as my sister usually watches Indian saas bahu serials like Yeh Rishtha Kya Kehlatha Hai or American TV shows like How to Get Away with Murder and Last Man Standing. I thought there must have been a serious incident like God forbid, a terrorist attack or a natural catastrophe.

I looked at the TV screen and immediately saw a woman being slapped by a security guard. The news channel was replaying the clip over and over again, which is why I didn't have to wait long to see the whole thing. The woman, as it turned out, was a news reporter. The lame excuse of a man was a security guard of the government office the incident took place in.

Apparently, the reporter was doing a live program of the problems faced by citizens at Nadra Office. People go to Nadra Office in order to make their NICs, B Forms, and other legal documents. Which is why there is always a crowd.

First, I thanked God for it not being as harmful of an incident as I initially thought. But that does not mean that I think what happened to the poor woman wasn't a bad thing. It was an awful thing to happen to anyone, especially in the public. Her being slapped was not only seen by the people around her, but was also seen by people watching the live show in their homes. Not only that, the video footage has been playing repeatedly on every news channel and has been shared countless times on different social media sites.

The first thing that came into my mind was how poorly this man must be treating his wife, sisters and other female family members. It would come as no surprise if tomorrow we find out that he is a criminal of domestic violence. Or that his wife is unhappy with him. How a woman can live with such a beast, I can not even fathom.

While going through the comments people made about the incident on social media, I was shocked to see most men were praising the security guard for hitting the woman. I expected to see no such views. They said things like "she was asking for it", "she touched his uniform, that's why the guard slapped him", and "the man was doing his job". These comments, mind you, were all from 'educated' people. 

People said the guard was doing his job, but wasn't the reporter doing her job too? She was given the task of going to Nadra Office and giving a report on the conditions and the problems faced by citizens. It was her job to uncover the faces of those responsible for those problems. The guard was obviously one of them. If he can slap a reporter on live TV, imagine how many other people he has hit when there was no camera.

People said she was asking for it. But I fail to comprehend this. How was she asking for it? By showing us the problems faced by people in government offices? By exposing the guard? By stopping him from attacking the cameraman?

Some people went as far as saying she hit him first. I watched the video several times but did not find any such thing. The reporter did pull the guard from his uniform when he was attacking the cameraman, but that is not even close to hitting. Secondly, the force she pulled the guard with and the force the guard slapped her with, are like the earth and the sky. She lightly pulled him, he went full fledged.

Slapping a woman isn't an option. In my opinion, the only time a man can hit a woman is when the woman is physically attacking the man and trying to kill him. Other than that, the question of hitting a woman should not even arise. Hitting someone can be okay or not okay based on the strength and size of both individuals.

Let's say there is a 6 feet person and a 5 feet 5 inch person, both with same percentage of strength. It doesn't matter which one is the male or which one is the female. The size difference is what matters. In this case, it will not be okay for the 6 feet person to hit the 5 feet 5 inch person, whether that 6 feet person is a man or a woman. But if the 5 feet 5 inch person hits the 6 feet person, whether it's a man or a woman, will be okay.

A kid is smaller is size than his parents. The size difference alone equates to the basic logic that the bigger person should never hit the smaller one. Ninety percent of the time, women are smaller than men and also physically weaker than them. That is why I say it is not okay for a man to hit a woman. 

The Curse of the Cosmetic Surgery

"Never Judge a Book by its Cover" is a saying we have all heard many times throughout our lives. But how often do we actually think like that? We might have seen the best person in the world but ignored them just because they didn't look 'beautiful' on the outside. We also might have thought someone was a good and kind person based solely on their outer appearance. 

The question for appearing beautiful on the outside has brought out the concept of modifying one's appearance either temporarily or permanently. The temporary method being makeup  and the permanent one being cosmetic surgery. 

I am all up for makeup, as long as it is used to enhance the existing facial features, and not to create to new ones. Plus, it's temporary and people know that it's makeup. That is why it isn't too much of a surprise for someone to see you without makeup. 

Plastic surgery, on the other hand, is a different story. It is a way to permanently change one's appearance. Due to the importance given to appearing beautiful on the outside, plastic surgery is becoming more and more common. 

If a person wants to change a certain part of their body that they don't like, then they should. But I think it is sad for someone to be so insecure about their body to even consider plastic surgery.

Celebrities or people that are role models to many people, including vulnerable young people, should think twice before undergoing any kind of cosmetic surgery. But we see that it is the celebrities that have started this trend, They are the ones promoting the concept of plastic surgery for cosmetic reasons (unnecessary reasons).

Celebrities have fans that want to be like them. These fans want to dress like them, style their hair like them, and have bodies like them. The fake bodies of these celebrities cause body image issues in young girls (and boys too!). The stress of wanting to look like their role models, results in these people becoming depressed or developing eating disorders.

Due to the popularity of celebrities like the Kardashians, many girls want to get big lips. In order to get those big lips, they get liposuction and surgeries or follow stupid internet diy's (for example, the Kylie Jenner lip challenge), where every second person gets injured and even doctors warn of the damage being permanent.

These kind of things how damaged our society really is. Plastic surgery done for non medical reasons is the biggest reason why people nowadays focus on outer beauty rather than inner beauty. And that's what we need to change.

Honor Killing: Culture Disguised as Religion

On October 4, 2016, I was left in a state of shock and bewilderment as news emerged of a Pakistani man killing his sister in the name of honor. The woman had been killed because she had married a formerly Christian man. Rajhu seemingly warned 18 year-old Tasleem not to marry the man, as he did not think it possible to be able to face his friends owing to shame. He warned her that people will not respect their family anymore.

The dread of being disrespected and appearing inferior in the eyes of others, made him take his sister's life. His friends had seen the girl with the man she was secretly married to, the man that had accepted Islam for her, and taunted Rajhu for it and urged him to kill her. After the pressure got too much, Rajhu put a gun to his sister's head and took her life.

This is not the first time women have been killed in the name of honor. According to Wikipedia, "honor killing is the killing of a relative, especially a girl or a woman, who is perceived to have brought disgrace to the family.". It can simply be defined as the heinous act of killing one's own family member for the name of honor. In Pakistan, there are, on average, 800 honor killing cases every year, excluding those unreported. In August, Samia Shahid's murder case again reminded us of the evil act of honor killing. Samia was a Bradford-Pakistani Muslim woman killed by her ex husband and father for marrying the man she loved.

Only a few months ago, a Pakistani social media star, Qandeel Baloch, was killed by her brother, Waseem, in the name of honor. What made her brother take her life were the controversial photos of her that she posted on various social networking sites, such as Facebook and Instagram. According to the brother, Baloch was bringing disrepute to the family's honor.

It is incidents like these that make us wonder if we, as a nation, have evolved or gone back to the times of ignorance. In around 30 BC, during the rule of Augustus Caesar, he made it permissible for men to kill their wives if their wives were found to be unfaithful. Similarly, in 1810, similar rules were made in the Napoleonic code. However, if a man was found guilty of the same offence, his wife was not permitted to kill him.

Around 700 AD, when Islam spread, people finally realized how atrocious this law was. Islam did not allow for someone to make accusations about a woman without presenting four witnesses. It did not allow the killing of people. Islam was and is, totally against honor killing.

Islam does not support killing your sister, mother, daughter or any female relative because she spoke with a man not related to her. Islam does not allow killing a woman because she refused to marry someone the family chose for her. Islam does not allow killing your daughters and sisters because they married someone according to their personal choice. It does not grant the killing of a victim of rape. Islam does not allow killing a woman because of rumors regarding a premarital affair. It does not permit killing a woman who wants to leave her abusive husband.

In the non-Muslim world, however, it was only in 1975 when this permission of killing one's wife was not granted anymore. By then, men had finally understood how absurd this whole ordeal was. In the Western countries, the concept of honor killing has completely disappeared. One can only hope for it's elimination from the entire world as soon as possible. Thankfully, Pakistan is not turning a deaf ear to these issues.

In June 2016, around 40 Islamic Ulemah (religious scholars), issued a ruling declaring the murder of women in the name of honor as 'un-Islamic'. They argued that according to Islam, a mature woman, a woman who can distinguish between right and wrong, is allowed to marry of her own free will. They stated that in Islam, it is not permissible to hurt a soul, therefore killing for the sake of honor is out of question.

In conclusion, Islam does not allow honor killing. In Islam there is no concept of killing women in the name of honor. It is un-Islamic and an merely an act of terrorism and viciousness.

Book Review: A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini

Lately, I had the chance to take out some free time from my schedule to read a novel that had been waiting on my reading list for quite some time now. After reading the book, I was more than happy to have done so.

The book I'm talking about is none other than 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' by Khaled Hosseini. Khaled Hosseini is an Afghan-born novelist living in the U.S. He has written three best selling novels since 2003, including 'The Kite Runner', 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' and 'And The Mountains Echoed'.

'A Thousand Splendid Suns' is one of his novels that I recently got to read. I have no words to describe how beautiful this book is. It had me hooked from the very first page. It made me laugh and it had me bawling my eyes out. Hosseini showed the main character, Mariam, in all stages of her life, her childhood, her teenage years, her married life, her old age were all described beautifully.

The novel starts with Mariam's narration, from when she is nine years old, living a life that is far worse than that of average Afghan children, including her siblings. Mariam has a kind and forgiving nature. She always accepts her fate and doesn't speak up for her herself. This is what gets her into her marriage with Rasheed, an older, grumpy, but kind man.

Then the second narrative starts from Laila's perspective. Laila, the second main character, is a generation younger than Mariam. Laila's story also starts from the time of her being a child. She belongs to a modern family and is always encouraged to get complete education. In her childhood years, Laila has a male best friend named Tariq, who is referred to as the one-legged Romeo by Rasheed, as he has one leg, the other lost in a land mine in early years of his life.

War breaks out in Afghanistan and Laila's life is turned upside down in a split second. All the good things Laila knows of, all the people she cares about, all the things important to her, disappear from her life. She has no other choice but to drop out of school and after a tragic event, accept an unusual offer. (I do not want to give any spoilers).

Unlike Mariam, Laila is a strong, confident woman who fails to be among those who accept their fate and do nothing about changing their conditions. She decides to put an end to all the torture she faces because of accepting that unusual offer. She attempts to change her life but fails. She tries again with the help of a new friend and this time, they succeed but not without one of them having to suffer.

The story ends with a somewhat happy ending, which made me really happy, because I didn't know how I'd cope with a sad ending. It left me with some happy tears to at last see some happiness.

The thing I liked the most about this book, in addition to the story, is the portrayal of women in Afghanistan. It shows the problems faced by Afghan women in their male dominated society. It is a must read novel. Khaled Hosseini has again written a masterpiece.

To review or summarize the book in a few sentences, I would say this,

A story of love at the time of hate and war, a story of hope at the time of hopelessness, and a story of growth at the time of destruction.

Women Rights and the Role of Religion

If men and women are equal in the eyes of God, then how come they aren't equal in the eyes of men?

God does not judge differently based on gender. I have never heard of that not being the case in any religion. Be it Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, or any other religion of the world. Then where did this discrimination come from? When did people start thinking of women as inferior beings? Who taught them to? Here's the answer.

Among all religions, men and women are considered equal. But unfortunately, in all the religions of the world, the heads of the religion, the people that are responsible for the control of the message and for making decisions, are all men. Religious institutions are dominated by male leaders. Examples include the Pope (Catholic Christianity), Imams (Islam), Rabbi (Judaism), Dalai Lama (Buddhism), Fathers of churches (Christianity), etc. They are all men.

The male leaders misrepresent and manipulate scripture to create policies that benefit them. They cite religious scripture in their defense. That is how they gain support for their opinions. More often than not, those citations are taken out of context. Slowly and gradually, these misrepresented citations become common and influence our social and cultural norms, our laws and our societies so much that we fail to recognize it.

Women rights and religion are not mutually exclusive. One does not need to be absent for the other to be present. They are not the opposite of one another. To ensure the full participation of women globally, we have to reclaim religion. We cannot overlook the damage that has been done in the name of religion.

Our foundation is weak. It is not possible to build a straight house on a crooked foundation. If we cannot change the system entirely, we cannot realistically expect the economical and political participation of women. 

We as women need to be present. We need to speak up. If we remain silent, we will allow for the continuous persecution and abuse of women worldwide. We have to do it not for ourselves, not for the women in our families, not even for the women out there, but for the society. 

The Bucket List.

We all have some things that we want to do at least once in our lifetimes. No matter how big or small, we all dream of doing a certain thing, going to a certain place, meeting a certain celebrity, or simply to experience certain things. Here is a short list of things I want to do before I die.

Learn a fourth Language.

Travel to a Foreign Country.

Go Snorkeling in the open sea.

Done in 2015.

Go skiing.

Done in 2006.

Travel by sea.

Done in 2015.

Ride a Zip line ride.

Learn a Strategy Game (for example Chess).

Teach someone something I do best.

Create something new.

Do Volunteer Work. 

Attend a concert.

Done.

Hold a Snake. 

Write a novel.

Horseback ride on the Beach. 

Done in 2015.

Make a Snowman. 

Done in 2000s.

Swim with sea Turtles. 

Done in 2015.

Create Pottery on a Pottery Wheel. 

Done in 2006.

Find my Signature scent. 

Done, I think.

Dye my Hair an Unnatural Color. 

Go fishing and catch a fish.

Done. 

Bake an edible Cake. 

Done in 2013.

Eat Chinese food with Chopsticks. 

Make ice-cream. 

Done in 2014.

Go to Tourist Attraction areas in my own city. 

Done.

Join a Book Club.

 

Go ice skating. 

Learn to drive a manual car.

Read 100 Books within a Year. 

Donate Blood. 

Get a College (Uni) Degree. 

Fly a kite successfully. 

Walk 10 km continuously.

Done.

Ride a bike on the beach.

Done.

Learn to Roller Skate. 

Done in 2007.

Create my own blog. 

Done.

Start my own business. 

Help someone in need. 

Change someone's life. 

Save a life.